By: Innocent Smith

I haven’t seen the new Angelina Jolie-Johnny Depp flick The Tourist yet, but let me review it anyway.

Good looking spy (Jolie) manipulates and uses good looking man (Depp) who is on vacation in Europe.  Good looking man turns out to be even more mysterious (and good looking) than previously let on.  Insert forced sexual tension between two big Hollywood stars whose egos probably never allowed them to look the other in the eye off-camera.  Stir in a few evil connections to corrupt CEO’s (who look an awful lot like Dick Cheney).  Sprinkle some slow-motion gun-drawing scenes on top of this concoction and you have box-office (fools) gold.

I’m gonna go see the movie for real after my finals this week, and I’ll have a legitimate review then.